Life..

I thought I had gotten over it ... but no, not yet.


5 years have passed since the fatal accident that night. I lost a friend.
It happened just a week before O's. I broke down in tears as I confided in my teacher. My close friends knew something wasn't right. During lunch after the graduation ceremony, I stood up and took my leave. I needed a quiet place to hold my tears.

I was extremely emotional that day because a car took my friend's live just exactly on his graduation night.. One moment he was receiving awards on stage for his contributions to the school, another moment his mission ended.

After the operation, he was pronounced brain death. Six days of a courageous battle in a coma, despite how heartbroken his parents were, they made the decision to discard his live saving machines. It was already hard for friends to accept his passing, not even to mention his parents. Back then, I knew I'd to get back on my feet to complete my O's victoriously, besides anything else, for my friend.

After all these years, I thought I'd actually overcame it. However, the fear seems to emerge recently. Images of my friend that night flashed through my mind when I got to know how a person was determined brain-dead by the surgeon in the operating theatre. I turned teary and it really hurts. Maybe I had actually gotten over it, or maybe not.. I can't differentiate.

I'd a hard time trying to pull myself back and accepting my friend's passing. 1 year, 2 years had passed.. In the 3rd year, I lost another friend. A healthy individual who was training for NAPFA Test, returned home for a shower, and that night, he never walked out from the bathroom... In the same year again, another friend left. It became a social topic in the news for quite some time.

I was trying to seek for this topic on life and death. Coincidentally, I'm appointed the study facilitator for the upcoming meeting and we will be studying exactly on this topic. It requires courage and strong life force for this sharing.

To those who may worry that I'm in an emotional state because of this blog entry, I would like to assure all of you that I'm alright. No doubt I may feel sad at times, nevertheless I'm bravely seeking out for the ultimate question of life and death, hoping to encourage even more people with my sharing.